feel it. the thing that you don't want to feel. feel it. and be free.

- nayyirah waheed

Cum Again?

“You have a difficult time receiving” he told me one morning while I flitted off his attempts at charming and disarming me. “Yeah, from you” was on the tip of my tongue, I said something else, talking about how that was in fact true and how I did not need to take sessions with him, before moving into the sun to enjoy my freshly made smoothie.

His words however, have stayed with me. I do have a difficult time receiving. Receiving compliments, receiving favors, receiving gifts, and receiving sexually.

In my early twenties I was friends with a girl, now a woman, who had an established friend group. She and I were close, bestiessss, and yet I always felt on the outside when we all spent time together. Aside from my friend, they were all white and had been friends since high school. I was the newest and darkest one on the scene. My friend is Puerto Rican and we rocked the Black and brown thing quite nicely....cont.

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